didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
