That's intense
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
