Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
