let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
