R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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