Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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