yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
