So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We need to rekindle our bromance
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Randomize
