Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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