well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
