I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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