my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
