We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
