Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
