he puts the penis in happiness.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
