The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
