before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
