Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
