if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
