I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
