No, drunk sperm still make babies.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize