are you still at the devil's house?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
