just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
