Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
