so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
