Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
