please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
