Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
