Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry PatchtyThePirate hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.

Fav 11 3877 1685
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.

Fav 15 5542 1428
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit

Fav 7 5023 1553
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.

Fav 6 1150 2689
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously

Fav 10 980 2576
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?

Fav 3 2054 877
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.

(440): View more from Ohio

its Wednesday...

(315): View more from New York

they're reeeeeally big trays

Fav 7 3264 1216
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT

Fav 6 538 897
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(971): View more from Oregon

I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.

Fav 1 101 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT