Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
