I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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