Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
