I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize