I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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