she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
