My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
