I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
