im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize