did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
