We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
