I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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