we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
