dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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