I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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