If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize