I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Randomize
