every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
