I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
