what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
