My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
