It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Such a big mess for such a small penis
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
