Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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