Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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