ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize
