I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
