Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
