my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
