yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
